I feel so good right now. Sipping warm coffee and listening to BTS Spring Day. Aha, what a lovely morning. Nothing is sorted in my mind. I don’t know what I want, what is my name (saw RM’s UN speech last night). But that is OK. I will figure it out. I will speak myself. I will find out my name and I will speak it. I made many mistakes yesterday and that was me. I will be a little bit wiser because of those mistakes tomorrow, and that will also be me. RM’s speech was so beautiful and so meaningful. I felt like he was talking about me.
Maybe he was, because we all make mistakes and become better from them. We just need to keep stumbling and keep getting up to find ourselves a new spring day will come in our lives for sure. It seems spring day was written for me. It makes me feel so warm and happy from inside. I don’t understand most of the lyrics but some sentences I understand like.. I miss you.. I will go to see you.. spring day will come.. something like that. That sounds good.
I am not sure what excites me right now. I mean there is not one thing. There are many things. Is there a sanctuary for me? Yes I think. The world of dramas and traveling. When I read a story that grips me so much I forget where I am right now. That is my sanctuary. Also they are things that excite me. To read an interesting story, to watch a good drama, to go visit beautiful place, listen to good music. To write good sentences and lately, taking beautiful pics. They all make me happy and excited. Maybe I should just keep going on this path to find out more about myself.
I am me plus my circumstance. I would like to add, I am me plus my mistakes. I am who I am today because of who I was yesterday. I accept all my decisions, good and bad, because they were all me. They will add up to make me a better person tomorrow. What excites me a little bit is the thought that someday I will write something that will make others feel like the writers I like make me feel today. I want to create beautiful art. Authentic, honest art, pics, words that speak to me and to others. I want to be more than what I am. I want to create something that is better than myself.
The one thing I can do is, be honest with my thoughts, opinions and what I speak. Words and thoughts have immense power. Another thing I can do is follow and know about inspirational people. People who are wiser than me, whose thoughts make me think and reflect and be wiser as well. Be honest, authentic, and true to myself. Do not change to fit in the fantasies of what others think of and about me but just be who I am. unapologetically, me. Love myself little by little every day. Because that is where everything starts from. Start with the person in the mirror.